The Significance of Graduation Ceremonies in Modern Education

Graduation ceremonies have long represented a significant milestone in the lives of students. Traditionally viewed as the culmination of years of hard work and dedication, they are often filled with tedious ceremony and tiresome speeches. Let’s examine why staying home sounds more appealing, and whether there’s any hope of salvaging the experience.

My Experience

Before we dive in, let me give some context on my graduation experience. I’m focusing on post-high school ceremonies — both the massive, university-wide events and the smaller, major-specific ones that claim to be more personal and meaningful. I'm going to blend them together into one idea for this article's purposes. I’ve attended ceremonies at both medium-sized and large universities, and I’ve also gone through the process myself as a graduate of a large university.

Spineless president

Graduation Overview

Let’s set the scene: after waiting in line for what feels like an eternity, you’re herded into the ceremony like cattle. In my experience, it was a sweltering day, and the graduation gown trapped the heat, bringing me to a slow roast. If you're lucky, you're seated next to someone you can tolerate for the next three hours.

Then the procession begins. A long line of professors files in. Somehow, after four years of classes, you don't recognize any of them.

Shoutout to my favorite professor Arthur Andrew Lopez

Speeches

They trot out someone you've never seen before in your life — supposedly one of your classmates. They've earned three more degrees than you, launched a successful startup, and are heading to an Ivy League school for post-grad. However, they’ve never given a speech before. They talk much too fast and the auditorium echoes, so you can barely understand a word they’re saying.

Next comes a corporate hack who drones on about their long list of accomplishments. Eventually, they try to relate by saying, “I was once sitting in these very chairs.” Then comes a meandering tale about how they graduated college, made their millions, and are now giving back, all sprinkled with weak attempts at humor. I would much rather be home playing Mario Kart with my roommates for the last time than listening to a CEO test out their stand-up routine.

I take it all back if you have an interesting speaker

Walking the Stage

If the stars align, you get to walk early, dodge the person trying to direct you back to your seat, and escape to freedom. If your last name falls later in the alphabet, you're stuck sitting for two hours, killing time by checking your phone or counting how many Smiths, Nguyens, or Patels are called in a row. Or, if you're me, it didn’t matter because they made everyone stay until the end.

Another important torture of graduation ceremonies is the cheering. Most people get a small whoop and the ceremony rolls along. For others, their family cheers far too loudly for far too long. I find it disrespectful to the next student, whose name gets half-shouted over.

Perhaps worst of all is the student who is met with complete silence. Did their family just not make the trip? Was their family killed in a hot air balloon accident? You can always tell by looking into their eyes.

Graduations are a rare occasion that can leave me bored, irritated, and vaguely depressed.

Who cares

Acknowledgement

Especially at larger universities, many graduates come from financially comfortable households. Probably at least one of their parents went to college, so graduating feels more like an expectation than an achievement. However, for some students, college wasn’t just a time to party. They risked everything to earn a diploma that could secure a better future for themselves and their families.

Graduations could be improved by only including those who truly deserve it. First, everyone who was in a fraternity or sorority can stay home. Next, anyone whose family paid for most of their expenses should be excluded. In fact, I wouldn’t want to see a single person who spent their weekends partying walk across the stage.

Finally, we’d get to see the few people who truly deserve our applause walk the stage. Of course, I’d be in the crowd cheering them on.

Maybe they deserve it; maybe not

Are Graduations Salvageable?

Graduation ceremonies are mere formalities; they are a complete waste of everyone's time. You take a long and boring drive only to find parking difficult. You wait in a long line to listen to some executive blowhard give a speech. You spend hours hearing the names of weekend party enthusiasts until the nightmare finally ends. For everybody but a select few who deserve it, these ceremonies are complete garbage that waste the last moments of a college career.

Skip the pointless speeches, limit the people who walk the stage, and get rid of those stupid hats that graduates are forced to wear.

Corny